by Michele Comeau, Customer Relations Strategist, Performance UnLimited

You know the importance of word of mouth advertising when you need to find a good supplier fast. That is why, when I was looking for a new security firm for our home, I called a company that came highly recommended.

“What time would you like our representative at your home?”
“How is the day after tomorrow at 9:30am?”
“No problem she will be there.”

So far so good, but knowing how people always get lost trying to find my place, I decided to call back and ask to speak directly with the rep so I could give her directions. The phone rings seven times and the woman who finally answers apologises, then asks me to hold while she finds something to write with.

“She will call you back.”
“Thank you.”

Next day I don't get a call, so I call back. This time eight rings and I'm again asked to hold while she finds a pen.

I'm a little surprised. A company that is in the business of responding to alarms can't answer the phone in a reasonable amount of time and be ready to write something down?

“You mean she hasn't called you yet?”
“No”
“Well, I gave her your message yesterday.
I'll make sure she calls today.”
“Thank you.”

No call.

Next day the rep shows up for our appointment, late. (Why does this not surprise me?)
“A phone call would have been nice.”
She giggles and tells me her cell phone isn't charged.

She takes out a beautiful four-color brochure with “300% Satisfaction Guaranteed” stamped on the front. I've never heard of a 300% guarantee before, so I ask her what it means. “No one has ever asked me that before.”
“Can you find out?”
“Yes, I will email you the answer when I get back to the office this afternoon.”

Now I'm getting cautious.
“How soon can your company respond to an alarm?”
“Our average time is 3 to 15 minutes.”
“Do you guarantee that?”
“No we can't, because our security officers may
be on another call?”

Next day I get an email that contained the following:
“The 300% guarantee was looked at as sounding that much better than 100% guarantee, and means that we will refund you 100% of any service that you are not happy with but we are 300% sure that you will be happy with our quality and service.”

Just the protection I want when I have a crazed axe murderer at my door. I decide not to do business with this company.

Six Steps to Kill a Sale:

1) Make a lasting first impression by taking forever to pick up the phone. This gives the caller a preview of your future responsiveness. We don't want our prospects' expectations to be too high.

2) Blow your credibility immediately over the phone in the opening dialogue. Asking the caller to wait while you find something to write with is perfect. Other techniques include, answering with a grouchy voice (“Why are you bothering me?!”) or a rushed voice (“I'm much to busy to talk to you!”). Lots of laughter in the background (“How dare you interrupt this party!”) will achieve the same effect.

3) Do not return phone calls, at least not right away. This shows the caller that you are far too busy with much more important business. If you really want to have impact, promise to call, and then don't.

4) Show up late for your meeting, and for emphasis, deny responsibility for your delay, and lay the blame on something else. This again tells your prospect how important they are.

5) Don't be knowledgeable about your product or service. Hey, whatever they need to know is in the brochure. If it isn't, they don't need to know. If they have questions they can read it themselves.

6) Over promise and under deliver. If you promise to follow up . . . don't. If you do follow up, make sure you are late. That leaves the prospect with a long lasting impression.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Michele Comeau coauthored the pocket workbook, "How to Turn Complaints into Ca$h" with Dr. Ian Brooks and is featured in the video "Tips for Turning Around the Customer from Hell" as well as other articles and audios.

Every year she works with a select group of businesses to successfully increase profits by turning shoppers into buyers and buyers into life long advocates.

Michele can be reached at: comeau@xtra.co.nz